Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in brian2step's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, January 24th, 2007
1-24-07 at 9pm	today is my birthday. and i didnt do anything. fun. Current Music: Cold World.
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Monday, January 22nd, 2007
1-22-07 at 8pm	1. I start my classes tomorrow, i dont even know why im going back cause in march im practically missing a whole month of classes, but oh well. 2. I havent seen my girlfriend for the past 2 weeks and will probably end up being longer, doesnt help that we've barely talked over that 2 weeks. 3. My Birthday is in 2 days, not expecting it to be too exciting but hopefully somebody will do something to make it fun, but i doubt it. 4. I get my braces off in 2 weeks, my mom lied to the place and said i was going out of the country until august and i needed them off asap, haha, i love that lady. 5. I got hoods and furious styles to play in milwaukee on Feb. 21st...should be fun. as you can see there are positive and negative things going on right now, i just wish more positive, but it's life. Current Music: Fort Minor.
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Sunday, January 21st, 2007
1-21-07 at 6pm	Caught in the cycle i gotta break out gotta change, know what I'm talking about? Nothings happening nothings getting done can't fucking stand it where do i run? Day after day its all the same same bullshit same endless games getting reality slapped in my face, time to rearrange, i need a change of pace. Gotta learn some lessons take 'em in stride one chance gotta do this right. Nowhere to turn running out of time can't catch any lucky or find peace of mind what is the point in this mess? Can't figure it out, thought i had it but lost it again. Still i'm searching for something no fucking answers asking for a way out and given lies, a vicious cycle never ending gotta escape before i lose my mind Current Music: Bitter End.
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Saturday, January 20th, 2007
1-20-07 at 7am	i will go down as your lover, your friend. give me your lips and with one kiss...we'll being. Current Music: Bitter End.
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Wednesday, January 17th, 2007
1-17-07 at 9pm	just got done hanging out with tyler for a little bit, sent my cold world shirt off to someone in the UK, he bought it for $41, haha. got me some stickers from the PO and now im drawing and them and sticking them EVERYWHERE! me and tyler got some starbucks and just talked about things, it's always good to talk to someone when you need them the most. i thank him for being my friend. Current Music: im listening to the radio on my ZUNE!!!!
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1-17-07 at 5pm	why does it feel like my dreams are slowly becoming real? Current Music: + 44
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1-17-07 at 5pm	looked like it was going to be a good day and then...nope as usaul. so bummed out. Current Mood: blah Current Music: New Found Glory
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1-17-07 at 3pm	so my birthday is in a week and my mom already got me my present, she paid for me to get a ZUNE, and it's probably the best thing out there right now, screw ipods. BUT if you were thinking about getting me a present, you should definetly get me a car adapter for my zune so i can play it through the radio station...its the one that plugs into the cigarette lighter *HINT HINT* haha. im so stoaked for my b-day weekend, i guess i gotta dress up? cause me and cara are going to dinner and then somewhere else...it's a suprise! haha, i love that girl...alot! Current Music: Kids Like Us
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Monday, January 15th, 2007
1-15-07 at 5pm	why do i always have the feeling that im not as important to you as you are to me? i feel like if i wasnt in your life you'd be ok with it, that you'd be fine without me and thats where i get scared. it feels as if you'd rather be with other people than me and i feel left out and that other people make you more happier than i do. it gets me thinking that maybe you'd be better off with someone else, that youd be a happier person, but who knows? it gets me thinking about so many things, i had a dream last night, that you were with another guy and i had to find out the hard way. you came into the house and i told you that i had texted you and you said your phone was out in your car and i said id come with you to get it and you said no, just stay here, so you came back in and i asked why you wouldnt let me come with you and i asked if there was someone else. i walked through you and your friends to get out the front door and i walked to the car and sure enough there was another guy sitting in the backseat with 3 of his friends, i then broke down in the middle of street and you werent saying a word to me..you just looked at me. I woke up and honestly it felt so real and throughtout the day, all i can remember is that dream and it's scaring me to death and i could never have that happen for real, good thing that dreams can feel real, but arent real. I just hate the fact that other people can make you so happy to the point where i feel that im not the one who makes you happy anymore, ive talked about this with a few people and they've told me that if you mean all the things you say, that im the person you see yourself with, and that you love, that maybe youd change, even the slightest bit, for me. Cause i know id change my life for you, not so drastically where i have to be a totally different person, but to the point where it doesnt make you feel like how i feel. If something i did you didnt like, id change it for you, because i wouldnt want you sitting uneasy, id change my life for you and thats where think im taken for granted. Current Music: 40 sls.
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Sunday, January 14th, 2007
1-14-07 at 8pm	we've fought many times, argued over many dumb things and many meaningful things, we have our differences and i have to accept them with a full understanding of who you are. All our differences dont matter to me though, because i love you and i believe that's all that should matter, i have you and you have me, i dont need anyone else, you're the only thing that keeps me going throughout the day, you're the reason i wake up with a smile on my face every morning. I wouldnt want my life going in any other direction because you being in my life has put my life in the right direction and it can only go up from here. Ive come to realize that my love for you overpowers everything and anything. I will never take for granted the love you have for me and i will never question it again, because what you say to me is the truth, it's hard for me to trust, but you've given me reasons to trust you and thats why i do. My life is on it's track and im about to enjoy the ride. Current Music: Bitter End.
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Saturday, January 13th, 2007
1-13-07 at 9pm	so i do the same shit everyday, i fucking work my ass off at a dead end job that's going to get me no where in life, im totally taken advantage of and i get no acknowledgment for the shit i do. I come after work looking forward to talk to the one person i love and i cant even do that anymore, shit's wack, im ready to quit my job and just sit at home and do nothing. Ive come to realize that i need Cara way more than she needs me. Current Mood: stressed Current Music: Like It or Not
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Thursday, January 11th, 2007
1-11-07 at 10pm	it feels like everything ive ever done for someone is not enough...i feel like i always have to do more to make people satisfied. im overwhelmed with half the stuff im doing with my life, i have to try and keep people happy as well as myself. this is becoming too much for me and im ready to just let everything go. I feel as if my girlfriend wants nothing to do with me at times, its not just what she says, its the actions that follow them. i feel as if i dont make her happy enough, so she has to have other people on her life to get her as happy as she wants to be, cause im not able to fulfill all of it. There's not much more i can say or do to show off the love i have for that girl, but no matter what i do or how hard i try, it always comes back to me and isnt good enough for her. I've said all the things ive needed to say to her...ive called in sick to work for her, driven many times to see her, ditched my friends multiple times, ditched my family...just to see her, if thats not enough to show her that i love her, then i dont know what. i dont know whats going on, this is the happiest ive ever been in my life and there's never been a dull moment since ive been with her, its like magic that we've met and i couldnt ask for anything better. Current Music: Cold World
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Thursday, December 28th, 2006
12-28-06 at 12pm	sun up, sun down. everyday stays the same. Current Music: Blue Monday
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Sunday, December 24th, 2006
12-24-06 at 5pm	i miss my girlfriend. Current Mood: stressed
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Wednesday, December 13th, 2006
12-13-06 at 10pm	i love fighting and arguing...its actually a hobby of mine. NOT Current Mood: confused Current Music: Miles Away
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Wednesday, December 6th, 2006
12-6-06 at 9pm	i feel like i let cara down alot. but it's honestly hard to be me sometimes, college and work and everything, it's hectic and i just cant handle it anymore :/ Current Mood: depressed
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Thursday, November 30th, 2006
11-30-06 at 10pm	honestly, people are fucked up. almost all of you talk about how it's gay to try and be "tough" at shows and that crews are gay...and yes, this is directed to most the girls in milwaukee. you think ganging up on a girl is going to change the way she is? making fun of someone for what they look like? i thought u shouldnt care about what someone looks like? worry about your own fucking lives and grow up. im not standing up for anyone, im just saying you're doing things to someone that you wouldnt want done to you. everyone is entiltled to feel safe at a show, we were all new once right? i know i might not like 95% of the kids that go to shows, but in no way do i think im better than them. i was where they were once in my life and im going to respect that. just like you should have respect for people, especially ones you dont know at all. Nike Kicks > Hard Pits Current Music: Bracewar, GET INTO IT!
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Tuesday, November 21st, 2006
11-21-06 at 12pm	Today is mine and Cara's 4 month anniversary!! honestly, im going to be with that girl for the rest of my life, after we're both done with school, we're eventually going to be moving to Boston together and getting careers out there and just living the best lives possible. I cant wait to make her the happiest girl on the face of the earth. i love her so much. Current Music: Wintch Mob
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Thursday, November 16th, 2006
11-16-06 at 9pm	so i've come to the conclusion that i dont like meeting new people and that i dont need anymore friendships. i just naturally dont like alot of people. i dont want to get to know anyone new, ive got all the people i want in my life. Current Music: Killing The Dream
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Saturday, November 11th, 2006
11-11-06 at 12am	I'll try my best to live each day better than the last. To find the strength to fight, to hold on to what's right for me. And you should try your best to make this last as long as your heart allows it, and to make this fucking count (for you). I'm not invincible, but i believe in myself. We all die someday, i'll die standing for what i believe, and i'll stay positive (and i'll keep focused). In all sincerity, this means the world to me, and i'll give everything. Choose the battles that you live and die for, it's time to make a start. Whatever it is that you have to fight for, to anyone with heart, make your stand. Current Music: Set It Straight
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